First, it is important to know that all eating disorders are serious conditions that can lead to irreversible and even life-threatening health problems such as bone loss, infertility, heart disease, kidney damage and organ failure. Eating disorders can also severely impact an individual’s emotional wellbeing, leading to anxiety, depression and even suicidality. Thankfully, with early and appropriate treatment, recovery is likely.
How to help a loved one:
1. Choose the right time
It is important to choose a time when you can speak to the individual in private without distractions, when there is emotional calm and when you aren't rushed for time. Avoid raising the topic if you are around food, exercising or in stressful situations, such as during exam time.
2. Explain why you are concerned
Refer to specific situations and behaviours that you’ve noticed and why they worry you, and express your desire to help. Avoid making comments about weight or appearance as this will create more distress.
3. Use the right language
There is a lot of guilt and shame that comes with eating disorders, so using “I” statements, instead of “you” statements can help avoid adding to this burden.
Also, try to avoid giving advice or simple solutions such as: “You just need to eat” or, “You’re hurting yourself for no reason” or “You just need to accept yourself”. Instead use “I” statements: “I am concerned about you” or “I’ve noticed a change in your behaviours lately”. Eating disorders are complex problems with complex solutions.
4. Be patient and supportive
Don’t give up on trying to help. If they are willing to talk, listen without judgment. Make it clear that you care and that you will support them when they are ready to get help.
5. Encourage treatment and know where to get help
If you can, know of a practitioner or service that can be suggested if they do express a want to get help. Oftentimes motivation waivers, so we want to use the opportunity to link them in with help when they express a wish to engage in supports.
If you want to know more about how I can help you or your loved one, book a free introductory phone call today.
